![]() ![]() And No, or red, is anything that’s off limits. Maybe, or yellow, refers to what you’re curious about, but a little unsure of. (Some use “green,” “yellow,” and “red” when creating these lists.) Yes, or green, means things that you absolutely want to try. An activity for those exploring is to create a spreadsheet with a column for “yes,” “maybe,” and “no.” The “maybe” represents what the kink community refers to as your “soft limits,” and the “no” your hard limits. Small steps are often a great way to add kink to your sex life. For some it felt intimidating, and it might still feel that way. Previously, kink often seemed like a dark and daunting sexually-awakened dungeon. What about that fantasy of doctor/patient role-play? “Playing doctor”, performing an inappropriate medical examination? Hot!Īs kink becomes more mainstream, more vanilla folks (non kinky people whose sex life is deemed “traditional”) have either recognized that they’re possibly more kinky, or have more interest in kink than they realized. It allows us to act out scenarios in the bedroom that couldn’t exist in our everyday life (except for folks who live in a 24/7 dynamic). Kink allows us to have sexual experiences that get our adrenaline going both mentally and physically. Yet in the bedroom, there may linger a secret side that wants to sit on your face and bark orders - hot, right? They like it when you handle finances and travel planning. Some partners take a more of a “submissive” role in their daily routine. You also get to see sides of your partner that may be foreign to you. By adding kink into your relationship, you are enhancing not only sex, but your entire life. During the day, you might operate from a more dominant position: you tell people what to do at work perhaps you have children that need parenting. For instance, let’s say you have submissive fantasies (a partner spanking you, name-calling, or “forcing” you to lick their fee). Kink allows us to explore parts of ourselves that we often must keep hidden in our day to day life. With just an open mind, you can turn the ordinary into an excitement that you may not have felt since the start of your relationship. If you’re new to kink or simply curious, don’t worry! Kink doesn’t require a down payment on a dungeon. For those in partnered relationships (monogamous or polyamorous), adding kink to your sex is an easy and safe (yes, safe!) way to energize your sex life. Sexual variety is key to satisfying partnerships, but doesn’t require multiple partners.
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